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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m cruising down Main Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Porus? I thought this city was supposed to be chill. Turns out, it’s just as crazy as any other place. I’m stuck behind some dude in a rusty old car. I mean, come on, bro, get it together!

Manchester police probing threat against Porus Police Station following fatal shooting of murder suspect